Fozzie's Sandwich Emporium Takeaway. Ruined my Tuesday. Worst sandwich so far in St. Louis. 2.1/10 sandwich. First time I didn't finish the sandwich because it was bad. Thought I had Covid it was so bland. Big Bend Mafia is an open-faced sandwich on a hot dog bun. $12.95 for a 15 oz sandwich with ~6.8 oz of meat. Easy ordering online for pickup. Plenty of parking in a dedicated lot. Setting up a new bet with friends to come back.
Fozzie's Sandwich Emporium Experience Summary
I've been on a real sandwich rollercoaster for the last couple of weeks. I got a lot of recommendations for places all across the city from friends and Reddit. And I've learned that as you branch out and taste new places, you'll get new highs like Nomad and new lows like Protzels.
Today, I continued on the rollercoaster and went to Fozzie's Sandwich Emporium because it was one of the most upvoted suggestions on Reddit, and several friends recommended it.
It was the worst sandwich I've had so far.
A new low.
My buddies told me that I probably wouldn't like it because I was going to order wrong. I don't know what that means, but I ordered the Big Bend Mafia.
The Big Bend Mafia is hot Italian roast beef with salsiccia (St. Louis for Italian sausage), provolone, and giardiniera on a garlic bun. It sounded delicious and highly recommended on Yelp, so I don't know how that could be the wrong order.
It ended up so flavorless I thought I had Covid for a second.
I give it a 2.1/10.
Sorry.
It was $12.95 for the sandwich before tax and tip and $14.90 after tax and tip.
Ordering online worked like a charm and was ready right at 11:15 a.m. Parking was easy in a dedicated lot that had a bunch of curbside pickups.
There was no inside seating, but there were several picnic tables outside. You can order at a bar inside and from the small lobby.
My buddy is telling me I ordered wrong. So here's the deal. I'll go back if he orders for me, and then:
If it's < 5 again, he pays for himself and me
If it's > 5, I'll pay for him and me
The Food At Fozzie's Sandwich Emporium
I ordered the Big Ben Mafia because it looked like the quintessential St. Lous sandwich.
Hot Italian roast beef with salsiccia (Italian Sausage. They call it the same thing at Adriana's), provolone, and giardiniera on a garlic bun.
In theory, I should love this sandwich because I love all of those individual components a lot. And so a sandwich piled up with them should be a lunch made in heaven.
And so I took a bite out of it and waited for the angels of flavor to ring me into sandwich heaven, and I waited and chewed, and the angels didn't come, and I didn't hear bells of joy, and I didn't gain access to sandwich heaven, it was only sandwich silence. It somehow didn't have any taste.
And then I took another bite because I thought I missed something, but still, sandwich silence.
Covid? Nope, could still taste my sweet bun from Wei Hong.
And then I started staring at it. Maybe it needed au jus? No jus.
On the third bite, I finally got the salsiccia, which finally registered on my tongue.
The giardiniera, literally a pure fermented flavor topping, was bland.
I get really excited about these sandwiches each week, and this ruined my Tuesday. I couldn't even bring myself to eat the whole thing - sunk cost.
In terms of the stats, the Big Bend Mafia registered a total of 15 oz on my scale. The salsiccia was 2.4 oz, and the roast beef was 4.4 oz. So that's 6.8 oz of meat in total.
It was $12.95 before tax and something like $14.90 after tax and tip. I got my painter a cheesesteak for lunch. That came in at 12.5 oz for a total of $11.95, but I didn't ask him to measure his meat.
I hope he had a better experience than I did.
Fozzie's Sandwich Emporium Atmosphere And Miscellaneous
Fozzie's itself is a little place on Big Bend, off of 64. Super easy to get to from the highway.
I ordered ahead of time online and went there at 11:15 a.m., and it was ready and waiting for me like I ordered. You just walk in, it has your name on it, and you pick it up off the counter.
Easy peasy.
Besides the small pickup counter, there's a little lobby area without tables and a bar for ordering. It's not a sit-down place in the winter, but they have outside tables for the summer.
I'm not getting one there again. So my buddies will have to put their money where their mouth is and buy me a sandwich if they want to prove that I'm ordering wrong.
Parking At Fozzie's Sandwich Emporium
There is a dedicated parking lot in the back, and they had a curbside pickup, where you could get curbside. I just walked inside to get my steps in, you know.
Fozzie's Sandwich Emporium Receipt
Sandwich Size Comparisons
